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Scariest Dude in F1?

In the November 2010 issue of F1 Magazine, HRT boss Colin Kolles answers a series of questions from readers.  Okay, first he intimidates the interviewer for fun, as is apparently his way — but then he answers a series of reader questions.  And really, what’s notable about it, as far as I’m concerned, is that only one of his answers truly made my skin crawl.

One reader asked about the last time he got really angry, and Kolles responded that getting angry isn’t really his style.  He’ll be angry for maybe only two minutes or so — and then?

. . .it’s two minutes then I know now you are on my list and it’s only a matter of time before I deal with you. There is a saying: ‘sometimes it’s better to stay calm on the bank of the river and to wait for the dead bodies to float past you. . .’

Oh, right!  That’s one of my favorite sayings, too.  I think I first learned it in kindergarten.

Honestly, this guy is like the boss of my darkest nightmares.  (Of course, the fact that he’s a dentist doesn’t exactly help.  I’ve always been scared of them.)

I was reminded of all this because there was another gem of a quote from him in the F1 press today, this one not so much bone chilling as just. . . well, insulting.  It regards his satisfaction with the job Davide Valsecchi did during the young driver testing in Abu Dhabi this week.

[Valsecchi] definitely did an awesome job. It took him a few laps to understand the car, while some of his colleagues did not succeed even after a full season.

There can be no doubt, of course, about the identity of the “colleague” to whom he is referring.  Bruno Senna is the only HRT driver who even came close to driving for a full season.  So all I really have to offer is “Ouch.” If I were Bruno — or any other driver for that matter — I think I would prefer pretty much anything over spending a season with Kolles as my boss.  I don’t know about you, but to me, selling coconuts on the beach sounds infinitely preferable.

Of course, having Kolles as your boss isn’t just potentially unpleasant; it’s also extremely expensive.  I read that the going rate of a seat on the HRT team is 8–10 million euros.  Ouch again!  This is assuming there will be an actual seat to sell for all that money.  Will HRT even be on the grid next season?  It sounds like that will need to be resolved reasonably soon, since they really ought to be working on their 2011 car already.  Maybe Kolles ought to terrify some people into investing.  It might not be as fun as intimidating an interviewer, but it would probably be more profitable.

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